Transforming Online Haters’ Comments Into Lessons And Better Boundaries
If you have ever wondered how to start the path to not taking things personally in your personal life and business life…then this ones for you!
It’s also about feeling accepted and part of amazing communities.
However, disclaimer we will not be able to cover everything in one blog article. This particular article can start the process of not taking online haters’ or nonsupporters unhealthy feedback personally.
This week I had a hater, also known as a person on my social media who did not have my best interest in mind and only commented to spread hate. A form of this can be in your personal life too.
I feel lucky at this point that they are few and far between in the amount of haters’ I need to think about or let go of their intended impact on our business and my life.
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Yet, as we continue to show up, and show up bigger, we are bound to have someone who is not happy with what we are doing.
While some say, “That’s life!”
I say, “This gives us an opportunity to heal, reflect, and set great boundaries.”
There is a big deal, and cannot be minimized as “That’s just part of the game,” or “That’s life,” as stated above.
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This is often a huge reason why a lot of female-identifying founders, make less sales, or show up a lot less in a smaller capacity than they deserve to allow themselves too.
The fear of rejection and someone saying they are ‘not enough’ often stops us in our tracks to fully show up, and be consistent about it.
Here in this article we explore ways to handle hyper criticism in our personal lives and through online haters’.
You will also understand the different between healthy and unhealthy feedback.
Disclaimer: This article and all articles here are from personal experience and giving tips and strategies that have helped myself, the Empire Life Team, clients, and Empire Life online communities, these are not medical nor counseling advice.
Healthy vs Unhealthy Feedback
When we have someone tell us something from a place of genuine care and support, I would consider this healthy feedback.
The above about haters’ on social media or in our personal lives, is where these types of people do not have genuine care or support for the person they are talking to, and maybe not even for themselves, and this would be considered unhealthy unsolicited criticism.
The person might think they are ‘helping’ you by being super rude, and have convinced themselves that hypercritiszm is normal.
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I personally have some family members who believe this, or believed this (those who are no longer with us in this physical plane).
There was a time I was talking with my brother and he and I both are used to hypercritizsm, with it being normalized for us growing up. He said something to me about something I was doing he did not agree with and I remember asking him to try to rephrase his feedback.
To which he replied, “You can nevr take constructive criticism. This is called constructive criticism.”
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Now, the conversation not only was filled with unhealthy feedback, then it became a ‘teaching lesson’ for him to teach me what constructive criticism was. Which it was not this, it was hypercritcism, and I too was unaware of how to identify what was happening. Besides that I did not like it, as it felt unhealthy, unhelpful, unsupportive, and if feedback does not meet those citrias its often impossible for people to take seriously or listen too.
Unless, as with me at the time I had normalized this type of feedback too because I was raised hearing it a lot.
I did not know at the time how I had a choice about what I could choose it meant and how I was take it on, think I must deserved it, unstead of letting it go in the moment or taking what I needed from the feedback and letting the rest go.
The scary part of this is when we think we deserve the rude words.
I am currently seeking and processing working through understanding that I decide what hypercritiszm means to me and how I can.
Therefore, this article is about what to do when we have unsolicited and not helpful criticism from people in our online communication or from a person in our personal lives, and how to not take it personally.
As we move toward wealth-building strategies and open ourselves up for more money to flow in, this also can open the flood gates to be more criticized.
I have heard that we know we are doing something right when we have positive and negative comments on our social media.
This does not mean however you and your team allow the haters’ to stay, and allow the haters’ to get to you by being personally offended by what they said, or worst think you might deserve it.
This will benefit you in your business and eventually (with great sales tactics too, more about this here) more conversions to clients, plus in your personal life if you are able to decide what hypercritsizm means to you and the ability to let go of it.
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Healthy Boundaries Related To Haters’ and Hypercritsizm
These are currently some of the people and boundaries my team and I have in business and I have in my personal life too related to this:
The Unsolicted Feedback
I usually listen and aim to leave the situation as soon as possible, especially if I have already stated a boundary and it was not respected. If this is online, I or my team either delete the comment, or we answer the comment as kindly as possible.
It is important to keep in mind that people in higher levels of life rarely if ever have time to critise someone else, they might, if they are your mentor make time to mentor you, or give some encouraging words.
The “It’s Easy” People
The people who act as if everything is easy, even tell you, “Oh, I could do that in my sleep.”
This can be a particular frustrating flavor of critszm because it oftens comes from a person who is not doing the exact same things as you are.
It can also come from a person who thinks they can do better than you and sees you as competition.
Remember that usually the person who is saying it is easy is not doing all the things, or is good at all the things because no one is.
It’s good to reply kindly and then block online if needed.
In general a good boundary online is to reply kindly as possible and if they respond unkind again block and delete, or just delete and block them online everywhere.
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I have also heard this referred to as ‘bless and release’, when someone blocks someone after deleting their comments on their social media, yet they wish them well.
It is good to remember after ‘blessing and releasing’ to take some time to reflect and feel all the feelings that might have come up, which it is okay to be upset by this, after reading that persons comments or hearing something from them that was disrespectful. Do not stay in those feelings too long though without seeking out professional help such as a certified counselor. One can journal too, talk to a trusted friend, meditate, and/or find ways that work for you of letting the feelings pass.
Hoping this article finds you well, and as always we love to hear from you in the comments!
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“This gives us an opportunity to heal, reflect, and set great boundaries.”
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