Elle Lepine’s story
Hey, beauty – my name is Eliane (pronounced Ellie-Ann) and a little over 2 years ago I decided to take my dreams seriously.
I had no idea where to start.
I felt unworthy of everything I desired.
And completely overwhelmed with the road ahead.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Just like any purpose driven woman, I had toyed with the idea of creating my dream life for so long – in my case that meant working from my laptop with my toes dug deep in the sand and mojito in hand – and as I was approaching 30, feeling purposeless, I made a conscious decision to stop letting my life pass me by.
This is the story of what finally triggered me to take back control of my life!
Fast forward to today, I’m quarantined in a tiny 1 bedroom AirBnB apartment in Montreal with my plans of traveling to San Diego cancelled due to COVID-19. But even now, I’ve never felt as much freedom and fulfillment as I do in this moment. I’m finally living the life of purpose I knew I was meant for and I know it’s just a matter of time ‘till I get to work poolside in the sun again.
The path to getting everything I wanted was an unexpected and unpredictable one.
Remember how I said I had no idea where to start? I knew about point A (the situation I was desperately trying to get away from) and point B (FREEDOM, baby!), but the road to get there had no clear instructions, felt overwhelming and so scary.
At the time, I was working an executive assistant job for financial advisors. I’d been with the same company for 3 years. I got along with everyone, my boss made me feel valued.
I always got extended vacation time so I could travel to my heart’s content and I had the flexibility to make my hours in 4 days instead of 5, so that I would have time to finish my MBA.
From the outside, it looked like I should’ve kept my head down and appreciated what I had, but I’d fall asleep at night with a niggling voice telling me I was meant for so much more.
Still, I pushed on.
Never asking for help, instead I’d take on work others couldn’t finish (at work & at school). I always said yes when my friends invited me to go out even if that meant canceling plans with myself or pushing the limits of my energy levels. I was trying to be and do it all for everyone else but me.
In the background, anxiety was building up and depressed thoughts were flooding my brain. I had PTSD from a recent breakup that I was totally ignoring. Most of the friends that I’d bend over backwards to please were incompatible with my values and priorities. I was neglecting my mental and physical health on so many levels and instead I was choosing to numb myself. It all felt pointless. I was spreading myself too thin and for what?
The more sad thoughts I experienced, the more I went out with friends, the more work and classes I took on just so I didn’t have to face any of the disappointing parts of my life. What I really needed was to pause and take an honest look at my life to reassess my priorities, but that felt way too scary. It was much easier to keep droning on.
The only things that kept me hanging on were getting to work early so I could sit in Starbucks to enjoy a sweet Cinnamon Almond Macchiato while watching replays of The Late Night show for some giggles before my day started.
Even going out with friends had lost its appeal. I’d come home after happy hour feeling like I’d wasted my time and money. It’s disconcerting when the people you rely on to elevate your mood just don’t make you feel joyful anymore.
My life felt like it was approaching a dead end.
Thankfully, that little niggling voice kept poking me from different angles trying to get my attention.
The thing that finally got me to pay attention was a thought so unsettling that it forced me to pause. I realized that everyday I let go by without making a change, I was choosing to settle for a mediocre life.
Since when was I the kind of woman that settled?!
My friends didn’t fit my life.
My job was slowly sucking the life out of me.
I had no clear future goals.
I was simply drifting along and accepting whatever life was handing me.
That thought rattled me to my core. I had to fix it, but even though I knew there was something better out there for me, it didn’t feel right to pursue it.
I had dug myself into a deep dark hole where there was no room to have fun, no creativity allowed and I was done living there.
All I could think of was my young self who loved to draw, dance, laugh and create things. How sad she would be if she could see how her future turned out. She’d be angry with me for letting our life turn out this way.
I needed something to get excited about again.
After leaving a relationship of abuse, I sought validation through higher education, but I knew that wasn’t cutting it anymore.
Like many ambitious women, it was absolutely not in my nature to ask for help, I didn’t even know how to.
One Saturday afternoon I felt called to look on job posting sites and I found an internship opportunity to learn online marketing with a startup in the self care industry.
For the first time in a very long time, I knew that applying for this internship was the right place to start.
I’d learn new skills that could potentially help me find work online so I wouldn’t be trapped in an office and I’d get guidance from someone who was building a company from the ground up – that felt like a project I could get excited about and also a person I could learn a lot from.
But, with every new beginning, hard decisions must be made. In my case it meant that a few things needed to be cut in order to commit time to work with this startup. I had to keep my day job, so I decided to quit pursuing my MBA and to enforce better boundaries with my friends.
Seeing as most of these relationships weren’t quality friendships, it actually felt great to take a step back. The thing that was hardest to let go of was school. I mourned my higher education for weeks and had to explain my choices to a few people around me who thought I’d gone mad.
Feeling like I was letting go of something valuable for my future was challenging, but every time I’d get into a meeting with the startup CEO to discuss the launch of a new product or how to bring more awareness to self care to our community, I felt like I was part of something that truly mattered.
For the first time I felt like I fit in, like I’d finally found my people.
That made me realize that a big part of feeling unworthy and undeserving of pursuing anything more than a mediocre life came from being aligned with the wrong people.
I thought I was weird for demanding more out of life, but that’s because I didn’t have the right support system to let me know that in fact I could create my life however I wanted.
Now I have a new rule and that’s to never again dim the light and desires inside me no matter who enters my life.
I only want to surround myself with supportive individuals who see that light inside me and are always willing to celebrate it with me.
Learning to embrace all of my dreams and desires was a huge breakthrough on self love for me. If you’re reading this thinking, “I also bend for the people in my life instead of honoring what I’m truly passionate about”, then the best thing I could say is to go find yourself a community to vibe with right now. No relationship is worth forgetting yourself for, depriving the world of your unique gifts or staying small for.”
If you know you’re meant for something bigger, embrace it. Let that quiet voice inside you speak up. Let it know that it’s entirely safe to feel what you feel and want what you want. Then start connecting with like minded women ready to uplift you and inspire you to take back control of your future.
Playing small is a vicious cycle that can only be broken with unconditional self love.
I’ll leave you with this: If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed or unmotivated, are you currently acting out of self respect, self love and your own best interest or are you putting everyone else’s expectations of you above what you truly want?
Wanna know what happens next?
Watch out for my chapter in the Empire Life Book, Redefine, launching Jan 2021!
You will be able to find the rest of her story in the Empire Life Book, Redefine, launching in Jan 2021!
Eliane (pronounced Ellie-Ann) is a professional introvert, woo-woo loving and latte obsessed marketing queen.
She deeply believes in the power of an embodied personal brand and picking just the right font to create the magnetizing success every woman wants for her business.
Her personal mission is to show women that feel stuck & unworthy exactly how to create financial freedom by honoring their true purpose and playing big.
With a little bit of the right strategy and a whole lot of unconditional self love, she knows you can create the life you’ve always wanted.
HOW TO GET IN TOUCH WITH EMPIRE LIFE
“No relationship is worth forgetting yourself for, depriving the world of your unique gifts or staying small for.”
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