I see this every day in business owners opting themselves out of opportunities even before trying or knowing if they can achieve it or not. In them not fully knowing or owning their worth.
Have you been opting yourself out of opportunities?
Such as saying no to programs or masterminds you know you need instead of joining a free course?
Did you say no to that podcast interview because you worry if you have the right microphone or headphones, or that your office is not soundproof enough?
I remember one time when my big brother, Mom, and I were hanging around a bit after church when I was about 7 years old, and an adult church leader approached me and asked me to read a poem in front of the whole church for the next Sunday.
There were about 200 people who attended the mass I was going to read in front of.
Immediately my heart and brain started racing, questions came into my head such as,
“Why me? There are a lot of other kids here to read this?”
“Why did they choose me and ask me?”
“I’ve never read anything in front of this many people, will I stumble over the words, will I be too nervous? Will my voice shake?”
“How am I going to practice enough before next Sunday?”
“Will I make a fool out of myself?”
Then we went home and my brother and I were having a deep conversation about it.
My big brother told me in no uncertain terms, firm yet loving, “You are doing it, you can do it, you’ll do a great job, and you can only practice as much as you can and then you go for it. No one wants to see you stumble over your words, be shaking, make a fool of yourself, how sad would that be, and fail up there, no one wants to see you cry up there. They want to see you do good.”
Then my brother handed me the paper with the poem on it and instructed me to read it. For hours I read it.
I read it about 100 times at least maybe more, with his direct feedback each time.
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The next day I lined my stuffed animals up on my bed, against the wall side of my bed, then I read it more, and took feedback from the animals.
I pretended the elephant gave me feedback in a different voice I spoke aloud, and so on.
I practiced in front of the mirror every day, watching my face, and gestures, and pausing and raising my voice slightly in certain places.
By the time I got up there on stage, in front of the microphone, with my black velvet dress and white coker necklace, and satin long white gloves (from the dollar store, I loved them so much), I was as ready as I’d ever been, and I crushed it. I even paused and looked around at certain parts of the poem, seeing the smiling faces of the crowd.
I was elated.
I was reminded of this story because I had a woman ‘opt herself out’ recently of my podcast.
This has happened before with my support, my podcast, being a guest blogger, being an author in our books, and more…at first one might think they are possibly ‘snubbing’ us, or they cannot afford it, or whichever they are saying…then the truth comes out eventually…at least it has with myself, where they just tell me what’s up truly after more conversations.
Where they directly tell me something along the lines of, “I’m not worthy of this.”
I did not feel worthy of reading that poem in front of the whole church.
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After that experience, I was asked to do other readings and given leadership opportunities.
What if I had said, “But I’m not worthy of this. Pick someone else.”
What if I had said, “No thanks, I have never read anything in front of a crowd before, I’m not great at reading.”
I was not great at reading when I was in elementary school, that was the truth, I’d often mispronounce words, and say words that were not even there.
I was super nervous when the teacher would call on me for reading aloud, and often my voice would shake when having to read spontaneously so much so I’d get a migraine and have to go to the nurse.
That same person, me, read in front of a huge crowd and did it well with no mistakes.
It’s comfortable to opt ourselves out. To pass on an opportunity by thinking we need more experience or we just are not ready, when if we took the opportunity we would lead ourselves down a completely different path.
Back to the amazing woman who opted herself out of the Empire Life Podcast recently, and this is a regular occurrence where I see especially self-identifying women ‘opting themselves out,’ and I see often self-identifying men opting themselves in even with absolutely no experience and no idea about the area, and they learn as they go most of the time.
With heavily investing in ourselves there is also no need to invest in multiple online courses which are not geared for the woman scaling her business.
There are mastermind and online courses primarily for the female founder who is just starting out. Where we guide them in finding and solidifying their ideal client, their client avatar, and hone in on their exact message, their true essence and bringing this to the world, in our Empire Life Blueprint Online Course, here.
Yet if we never start, never say, “YES ME, Choose me, I got this…” we can never give ourselves that opportunity we deserve, that will most likely lead to more opportunities.
Also, now I give other women the opportunity to speak at my events, to be on the speaker panels, to be a guest on the podcasts, to be an author in our books, to be mentored by me, to be in my mastermind, to be a guest blogger, to post in our Facebook group, to be part of our communities…essentially to stand up and say, “Choose me, I’m worthy, yes me!”
Have you joined Quora yet? To speak your mind, ask questions, and display yourself as an expert there.
The woman told me, “I’m not a professional,” therefore she did not feel it will be good for me to have her on the Empire Life Podcast. She went on to say she did not make money with her own podcast, and her community was too small, and mine was so amazing and so big that she felt she wouldn’t add anything to my community.
These were her words.
All the while I was saying, “Yes you, come on with me and let’s share your gifts with our podcast community.”
Yet if someone is already opting themselves out I cannot force them, I can and do honor where they are and what they are saying.
I’m wanting it to be easy, for everyone, as much as possible. Easy and flowing. Also, I choose to believe there are many women out there who do want to say yes to their success, to their worthiness, to themselves, and to take the opportunities.
Which is exactly what happened literally about 2 minutes after the previous conversation…
The same day, two minutes later in the DM’s, I had a woman opt herself in, and she also invited me onto her podcast. What an amazingly perfect fit! I’m already signed up to have her interview me in August and she is signing up for mine.
For the female businesses who are scaling, who are already making over $20,000USD-$40,000USD per month, there needs to be a different and unique level of support, just for you. This leads me to our mastermind (doors opening soon!!), and masterminds in general to be a part of, and contact us and apply here.
Hoping this article finds you well, and as always we love to hear from you in the comments!
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“Where they directly tell me something along the lines of, “I’m not worthy of this.”
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